Saturday, October 1, 2011

Wikipedia: Zombies Ate Burns Harbor, Indiana


The following was originally published by me on April 7, 2010:

I got a message on the internets yesterday asking me if I had put the Great Zombie Coverup info about Burns Harbor, IN in Wikipedia.  Unfortunately no I didn’t, but I am jealous as heck of whoever did!  I am on record as saying I thought zombies might be lurking in Porter Co., but I was thinking Hebron (still think so,)  not Burns Harbor.
Upon finding out about the article I lost no time in emailing my friends and neighbors.  I sent them a copy of the text of the “Zombie Coverup” paragraph about Burns Harbor from Wikipedia(which has since been redacted):
It is speculated that The Great Zombie Invasion of 1949 almost destroyed any chances of an incorporated Burns Harbor. It was in this year that the reanimated corpses began to invade the southern tip of Lake Michigan. With the Port of Indiana and Bethlehem Steel being easy access points for the walking dead to come ashore as well as very noisy areas that attracted the attention of the flesh-seekers, it was no surprise that this area of Porter County Indiana was a prime feeding ground for the undead. Little is known how the zombies came to be un-alive, but the fact remains that they decimated the socioeconomical infrastructure of this region. While the dead walked, consumed, and turned the majority of the residents to their own, a plan was being formed.
The Citizens of Westchester for Zombie Annihilation and Reform(COWZAR) formed a plan, and with the assistance of the National Guard and Bethlehem Steel this plan, known as “Plan Z” came to fruition. In this plan, the remaining survivors were evacuated, examined thoroughly for signs of infection, and in the event that signs were found, creamated(sometimes while still alive), leaving only the zombies. Once the bombers were assured that civilian casualties would be at a minimum, the area was blanketed with bombs. This took out the majority of the undead, but a few stragglers happened to be in the wrong place and remained animated. The second stage of Plan Z entailed ground forces performing a sweep to rid the area of the remaining zombies. After several weeks and more casualties than anticipated the area was considered clean, but quarantined until it could be sterilized. Over the next few years, the National Guard performed tactical strikes at vital, classified areas for further sterilization. It is speculated that there may still be a secret detail on guard at areas of the shore to this day, but this has not been proven nor confirmed. In 1953 the area was re-opened for habitation, but the flow of residents was slow. In mid 1953 the steel mill donated a large amount of money to build houses and stimulate the local economy in order to re-habitate this area. Houses were sold cheap and bonuses were given to mill employees who utilized this. Within a year, the area that would become Burns Harbor was beginning to resemble what it is today. Evidence of the outbreak are still apparent in street signs for “Restricted Areas” as well as heavily secured entrances to various hot spots disguised as steel mill gates. Many current residents believe that if you enter these areas, there is a high chance of infection and that some of the fenced in and guarded areas are being used for experimentation on the living dead. Some believe that there are in fact several “specimens” still roaming, kept at bay only by new residents “placed” by the government and zombie hunters disguised as paramedics, firefighters, and police. Spread the word, as wikipedia won’t let this stay up long.
The local Chesterton Tribune reported on the Wikipedia Zombie Burns Harbor article: Wikipedia exposes Great Zombie Coverup in Burns Harbor. Great article.  I love the quote from Town Marshall Jerry Price in the Tribune article.
My sources speculate that the paragraph was added to the Burns Harbor, IN entry on or about April 1st, April Fools Day.  What a wonderful prank and it also shows that the people of Burns Harbor have a great sense of humor.
I wonder if Zombies will be the costume of choice for Halloween trick or treaters this year?

1 comment:

  1. If you have ever worked at the "Steel Mill" in Burns Harbor. You would know that this story is very much true.
    Mike "Service Tech" Burns Harbor, IN.

    ReplyDelete